What Am I Doing?

This is my first post in a long time. Since August, in fact. There is a question that has often been on my mind. What am I doing?

In June 2015, I moved to America. It was a big move, and overall it has been fun. I have moved to Manhattan and work remotely. This was a goal of mine, and I achieved it. I thought I had made it, and good things would naturally flow. While there have been good times, it has not always been great. In fact, there are moments when I have serious doubts, and not sure what to do.

I am sure we all feel like this at certain points in our life. We reach a goal that we have built high expectations for. Although you are glad you have achieved it, you feel there is still something missing. I feel it may be direction; although I have achieved this goal, I feel there is nothing to work towards afterwards. I lack direction. I lack purpose.

As I mentioned in one of my earlier posts, I was going to blog about my experiences being minimalist in the Big Apple. Although I have not blogged about it, I feel that I have managed to keep some of my minimalist values; I have not made unnecessary purchases in possessions, but definitely have been eating out more than I would like (its Manhattan – I think that would be difficult to avoid, at least initially!)

Minimalism helps me reduce unnecessary purchases. This is something I am grateful for. However, I realize I have a long way to go; I still procrastinate, do not value my time as well as I could, and not sure what my core values are. This makes it easy to slip into default mode and just go with the flow in life. I feel for the first few months this was fine. However, it comes to a point where you feel empty and uninspired. This is where I am now.

It is time to re-evaluate.  Not sure the best way to go about it, but I certainly need to make some changes. I need to reassess my values and work out what my priorities are. At this moment in time, what would I like to accomplish? I want to live in the now and make the most of it. I think this is something we all want to do, and is easier said than done. This will take some time, and that is OK.

I hope to share my experiences of discovering myself. I feel that although I have made some progress, there is a lot more to discover about myself. Perhaps you are on this journey too. I feel one of the hardest things for me to do is live in the moment. Overthinking with conflicting thoughts makes it even harder to make decisions and be authentic. What does it even mean to live authentically? This is something I am trying to discover.

Socrates once said “the unexamined life is not worth living”. He believed that the love of knowledge was the most important pursuit above all else. By examining and thinking, this can help us live a better life through informed decisions. I think this is why having a purpose helps us live better – a purpose is something we have thought brings meaning to our life. This purpose can change over time, but there should be a purpose at any moment in time.

I am at that point where I need to rediscover my purpose.

 

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